“Guy goes into a bar and sees a man pouring a drink on his right hand. Guy asks him: “Hey buddy, why are you pouring beer on your hand?” The man says,”Ain’t it obvious? I’m getting my date drunk!”

When it comes to (giggity) self love, ain’t no love like your love right? Whether you “beat the meat”, “flog the pole”, “polish the bishop”, “slap the salami”, “choke the chicken”, or “spank the monkey”, the act of masturbation has been around since time immemorial (cavemen couldn’t club all the cavewomen you know). There are many benefits to the act of solo love: It’s a great sleep aid, stress reliever, and it feels pretty damn awesome. But there are some things that you may not know about “playing the meat flute.”

For the last article of the year, Sujeiry thought it would be fun to present the best and worst pick up lines of 2009. So of course, I combed the streets (the streets have nice hair now), surfed the web (cowabunga bitches!) and found some great lines from both friends and anonymous men online. DISCLAIMER: This is purely for entertainment purposes only. Guys, if you use these lines you do so at your own risk. I accept no responsibility for the bitch slap, drink thrown, or ass beating that will ensue if you drop one of these pick up lines on sober and unsuspecting women. And God help you if she’s really smart and independent. Your ass is grass and she will be the lawn mower. Now lets begin.

Feliz Navidad LMO followers! Tis’ the season to be shopping, giving and receiving! And in this edition of HvP, instead of talking about love issues and drama, I want to talk about gift giving in a relationship. Whenever the holidays come around people often find themselves at a loss as to what to give. As I see it, where you are in your relationship determines what it is that you give.

I asked around and these were the best responses.  Ladies, I suggest you pull your man over and have him read along. This way he will pick out the perfect gift for you. Here we go!

The subject of infidelity in relationships (whether by actors, athletes, pastors or your next door neighbor) has been around since pimpin been pimpin. The recent event that has saturated the airways is the story of Tiger “Clubbed by Wifey” Woods and his infidelity against his spouse with multiple women. Of course, this story helped fuel an already burgeoning fire of "niggaz ain’t shit”, “men are cheaters”, and my favorite, “men are dogs.” These sentiments are flooding the Internet on blogs and social networks alike, which led me to ask men this hypothetical question:

If you were in Tiger’s shoes (having fame and fortune) would you take advantage of your fame and sleep around just because you know you can or would you keep it in your pants and stay faithful? Is it easy to stay faithful when young beautiful women throw themselves at you willingly and constantly?